Keeping the Love alive
The Big 5 0
Married for 50 YEARS!
Dona Anderson
What keeps it going after the Honeymoon effect wears off?
In a few days it will be 50 years.
This photo is of the front for a card I had made for my husband for our 20th anniversary.
I kept the card in the cedar chest and then a while back I gave the chest away so what do I do with all the stuff inside.
The stuff that you want to keep, to look at again - and fast forward it's already 30 years later.
Last year I posted a wonderful song video you can link to here from Leonard Cohen for our 49th anniversary and mentioned that I didn't know the secrets to a long relationship - we all make mistakes and change over the years.
Last year I posted a wonderful song video you can link to here from Leonard Cohen for our 49th anniversary and mentioned that I didn't know the secrets to a long relationship - we all make mistakes and change over the years.
We've all had different
challenges to face ...
We've all had different challenges to face from life choices, health, our careers, how we grew up and communicate to what we take on, let go of and lots more.
The universe responded a few weeks later when we went to visit our Daughter.
Since we were there for about 10 days, one of our Mom & Daughter projects was trying to downsize her book collection. She found 2 copies of the same book, only the covers were different so she gave me one copy to bring home.
It was a book related to marriage.
I never really looked for marriage books before but after writing the post last year I thought I'd see what it had to say so it became one of my books to read last summer.
I never really looked for marriage books before but after writing the post last year I thought I'd see what it had to say so it became one of my books to read last summer.
The book is called,
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
The Secret to Love That Lasts
The five languages are Words of Affirmation - Quality Time - Gifts - Acts of Service - Physical Touch.
Through it I found some things we were doing well, some OK and of course some that needed fixing.
The ones that needed fixing were more ones I Didn't Realize - had never thought of it, or you get lazy about over time and think they're not important anymore.
The ones that needed fixing were more ones I Didn't Realize - had never thought of it, or you get lazy about over time and think they're not important anymore.
We seem to always want to check off the ones you do well but since each partner is different we sometimes forget we have different wants, needs and feelings.
We hear and see things differently and even can have a totally different sense of humor.
What I may think I'm doing good at maybe he doesn't feel the same, and we usually don't ask those questions.
We hear and see things differently and even can have a totally different sense of humor.
What I may think I'm doing good at maybe he doesn't feel the same, and we usually don't ask those questions.
We appreciate some things more than others and feel the loss of some things more than others.
In the book, there's a series of questions at the end to answer that help us discover our Love Languages and one of mine fit and the other I'm not really sure about but I do see how it can cause problems when we're not working on them.
I recommend it for helping us recognize and understand more of how everyone has their own needs and the important part - the exchange.
We all need those little reminders once in a while.
Don't need the marriage one - He has other books for different relationships as well.
In the book, there's a series of questions at the end to answer that help us discover our Love Languages and one of mine fit and the other I'm not really sure about but I do see how it can cause problems when we're not working on them.
I recommend it for helping us recognize and understand more of how everyone has their own needs and the important part - the exchange.
We all need those little reminders once in a while.
Don't need the marriage one - He has other books for different relationships as well.
Back to the card above...
I remember sitting on the floor 30 years ago and wondering
what to write on the inside.
what to write on the inside.
What did I need to say to show my Appreciation and Love.
It didn't take long for a list to appear.
Real stuff isn't always in store bought cards.
30 years later - the list would be even longer!
30 years later, I'm going to give him the card again!!!
Hope to have you back next week,
new posts every Tuesday.
Links for sharing below.
Scroll down for more posts or find them
in the archives on the right.
Scroll down for more posts or find them
in the archives on the right.
50 years - now I REALLY feel OLD!
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