OMG - We made it ... love the photo

Keeping the Love alive

The Big 5 0 

Married for 50 YEARS!

Dona Anderson

What keeps it going after the Honeymoon effect wears off?  

In a few days it will be 50 years.

This photo is of the front for a card I had made for my husband for our 20th anniversary.

I kept the card in the cedar chest and then a while back I gave the chest away so what do I do with all the stuff inside.

The stuff that you want to keep, to look at again - and fast forward it's already 30 years later.

Last year I posted a wonderful song video you can link to here from Leonard Cohen for our 49th anniversary and mentioned that I didn't know the secrets to a long relationship - we all make mistakes and change over the years.

We've all had different

challenges to face ...

We've all had different challenges to face from life choices, health, our careers, how we grew up and communicate to what we take on, let go of and lots more.

The universe responded a few weeks later when we went to visit our Daughter.

Since we were there for about 10 days, one of our Mom & Daughter projects was trying to downsize her book collection. She found 2 copies of the same book, only the covers were different so she gave me one copy to bring home.

It was a book related to marriage.

I never really looked for marriage books before but after writing the post last year I thought I'd see what it had to say so it became one of my books to read last summer.

The book is called,

 The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

The Secret to Love That Lasts

The five languages are Words of Affirmation - Quality Time - Gifts - Acts of Service - Physical Touch.

Through it I found some things we were doing well, some OK and of course some that needed fixing.

The ones that needed fixing were more ones I Didn't Realize - had never thought of it, or you get lazy about over time and think they're not important anymore.

We seem to always want to check off the ones you do well but since each partner is different we sometimes forget we have different wants, needs and feelings.

We hear and see things differently and even can have a totally different sense of humor.

What I may think I'm doing good at maybe he doesn't feel the same, and we usually don't ask those questions.

We appreciate some things more than others and feel the loss of some things more than others.

In the book, there's a series of questions at the end to answer that help us discover our Love Languages and one of mine fit and the other I'm not really sure about but I do see how it can cause problems when we're not working on them. 

I recommend it for helping us recognize and understand more of how everyone has their own needs and the important part - the exchange.

We all need those little reminders once in a while.

Don't need the marriage one - He has other books for different relationships as well.

Back to the card above...

I remember sitting on the floor 30 years ago and wondering
what to write on the inside. 

What did I need to say to show my Appreciation and Love. 

It didn't take long for a list to appear. 

Real stuff isn't always in store bought cards.

30 years later - the list would be even longer!

30 years later, I'm going to give him the card again!!!

Hope to have you back next week,

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50 years - now I REALLY feel OLD!

We all want Moments for being Calm, Quiet and Still

How to do it is

the problem ...

Help!

Dona Anderson

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Dona's Dream - to send wellness out into the world. 

A One Rose Wellness message for You today.

Messages are from the pages of Simply, One Breath At a Time.

Become calm quiet still

enjoy the beauty of this time,

this place,

this breath ...

Do You have a calm quiet place?

Today, I think of it as the times when there's a balance between the Head & Heart.

The actual place doesn't matter, it's the feeling that matters.

It could be at the ocean or in the grocery store line up.

It could be on the bus or the walking trail.

I find it when I feel present, alert and connected to my life and my breath ...

It could also be called a time, place and breath of Gratitude.

Don't be afraid to be still, to relax...to listen.

Link here to another great message 

Also use the label below One Rose Cards for more.

Thank You for sharing this message to help others!

One Rose Wellness Cards is a set of 105 messages for mini moments of meditation, awareness, inspiration, gratitude or simply a reminder to breathe.

All the messages are from the book, Simply, One Breath At a Time.

Just Breathe

 More on Facebook, Dona Anderson, Roots to Breath

 Info on One Rose Wellness Cards and other resources here.

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Keep Smiling ...

I also share some of my calm places in the pictures I share on the side under Wellness Moments. I change them frequently but you can save them to Pinterest and make yourself a file if you'd like.

What is Relaxation? This photo helps, so... Peaceful.

Don't be like ME - I wasted years 

Get started before it's too late! 

Dona Anderson
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Finding Relaxation ...            

                                         What is relaxation?

Yoga introduced me to Guided Relaxation and Meditation.

At the end of each class we were asked lay down and be still, to breathe and relax our body.  

At first I fell asleep, when I was able to stay awake I was usually restless, replayed conversations, or was reminded of all the things I had to do.  

     Is this relaxation? 
I think I need more practice.

I guess that's why they call this the hardest Yoga pose to do. 

Real relaxation does require practice, patience and it has an intention.

But you don't have to do Yoga or lay down.

It can just be a walk, sitting in the garden, a few minutes in the morning or before bed, a lunch time break, sitting on the bus or waiting for the tea to steep. 

Any time that suits YOU.

There are many styles of Guided Relaxation and it might be like a story that asks you to follow along and notice what's happening as you slowly relax different areas of the body and deepen your breath. 

You may hear words like release, soften let go calm slow feel open allow and breathe.

They may seem like a foreign language.

Or, it may be about focusing on an object, a scent or a visualization. 

Whatever it is, it takes you on an adventure and invites you to follow along, to focus on the breath, an area of your body, a place, a thought, nature or perhaps it's as simple as a smile. 

While you follow along and breathe, you slowly start to let go of all those other thoughts and begin to clear and open the mind. You start to move into the present moment.

What you discover can be a very precious gift. 

I found a time to soften and breathe,

a time to feel comfortable with who you are,  

a time to remove obstacles, release tension 

 and I found a place to notice the difference, to feel it, to be with it.   

The practice opened me up to a place where I had tried to reach before but had never quite made it.

The awareness and benefits you gain can also help you use the breath in your everyday life as a tool to support your wellness.

Whether it is for a quick busy day refresher, when you feel out of balance or in times of stress, you can focus on your breath and watch as it gently relaxes and guides you back to the present moment.

Relaxes and guides

you back to the 

present moment

Even a minute can help separate you from a stress, a worry or a busy time and place. 

You’ll be able to experience the feeling of your breath bringing you back to balance and to peaceful thoughts.  

You may even find an open space in your schedule and in your mind.

Let the breath take you where you need to go!

Do a Search for benefits of Relaxation

You may even want to start a Wellness group at work or with your friends.

Here's some resources to help to get you started.

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Links to share or comment below.

More posts below or in the archives.

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What will you pick - only Seven Choices

What is your favorite day of the week?

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday

Thursday Friday Saturday

Which day is just for You?

Which is your most productive day?

Dona Anderson

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As we've grown up and changed our lives over the years, your picks would have probably changed many times.

Is one day in the week more valuable to you for work, pleasure or family reasons.

If so protect that day and move some unimportant things to other days.

Life seems to be a real juggling act of all the things we have to do and are responsible for. So see if you can keep it more simple and focus on what you can do and what you have control over.

And, don't forget to ask for Help when you need it. 

I know sometimes ...

I know sometimes other things will get in the way and changes have to be made,  but if you WIN most of the time and work towards your goals, dreams, health, family needs or whatever it is - it makes life a little easier and more rewarding.

Perhaps at the end of the day write yourself a little note to tell about all the things that went well, and thank yourself for taking the time to notice it. Imagine a beautiful box of notes or a file on your phone you can open everyday to smile and revisit those memories.

I hope you Do more of what you Love,
and Enjoy your unique Journey...

Don't forget to find a Soft & Nourishing space when it's time to Breathe in the smell of Rain.

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Message in Dona's photo is from Simply, One Breath At a Time.