The Journey from Grieving, to Feeling and Healing

Dr. Edith Eva Eger | TED...

amazing Lady and story.

We all go through feelings of loss, depression, loneliness at various times in our lives.

What we do with those feelings is up to us.

Have a look at this video and her story.

Dr. Edith Eva Eger 

Holocaust Survivor.

    

Dona Anderson

I don't know how she had her tremendous strength to go through what she did and then go into a profession helping others to heal from their loss and traumas.

As an older person now I've lost grandparents, parents, aunts & uncles, friends, and many pets.  

As I think of what to write my eyes are full of tears.

We don't get through life with a free pass to not have those losses.

She had so much to endure from a young age and thankfully she found ways to cope and shield herself from the many dark places that could have taken her in an opposite direction.

I've gotten to experience the many gifts of being part of a family, having a mix of friends from different times and places and hear their stories to tell. 

Our differences can often be opportunities for 

learning and sharing.. 

Our time here on earth is not known, 

lets not waste it.

PS. there are many great comments on You tube for her books as well. 

Thanks for your visit.

New posts every Tuesday and lots in the archives that you can visit, save & share.

Another Year that will not be forgotten

 

Moving on but not forgetting

Dona Anderson

When was the last year we had a break from all that's been going on ?

We had another year with too much stress, death, loss and destruction ...

So let's change the Story to help us Feel better for a few minutes.

I'm sure we could all make a long list of what went wrong these last few years, so instead lets leave that and remember the GOOD Stuff from the same couple of years.

I know it'll take a bit to focus in on it and remember the Good.

The last few years have been hard but often the good stuff is there too that we need to remember.

There's been lots of change everywhere and I guess our lists may all be very  different.  

What things stood out for You?

What things were You thankful for?

Thankfully the daily news is not all bad.

Maybe you had lots of support you never imagined.

I saw a lot of people helping others, bringing them into their homes and providing a safe place.

I saw food being made and served to the hungry

Pets being rescued and looked after

Vaccines made and continued to be given out

Medical workers helping others when they needed it too

Food Banks getting donations and sending them out

Countries helping other countries

Friends starting to gather again

People smiling 

Change being more readily accepted and tried

Zoom and other things helped people connect

Working from home saved time, money & more

Things started to open up again

Traveler's hitting the roads and skies

Those were some I quickly thought of - what are yours?

What's on your list?

PS.  when I worked I was always proactive in getting things started or done ahead of time to lessen the stress of something happening later on so I guess I've been also doing this the last 12years with these now over 700 posts.

The weeks go by so fast that my getting a few posts ahead doesn't last long. 

I think it was easier at work as I knew what I needed to do but here it's made up and different every week - not like a work done report kind of thing.

As we head in 2023 I'll soon be nearing 800 posts. 

This was Never imagined in my wildest dreams and mine are pretty weird.

I'll try to continue to bring you relaxation, inspiration, peace, hope, music and more to support your Wellness and Self Care. 

I hope you've had many favorites or ones over the years you've connected to for some special reason. 

In my Book Moving Forward from the Heart the first meditation is titled, 

So Much More to See

 and the last one is titled, 

You became the Beauty

In between these two are 71 other meditations to support your day & life to  

Discover your own true self as you

slow down and listen. 

Information on all Resources at this link.

Bye for now and all published posts are

in the Archives to view, save and share.

The photo message above is great  as a short meditation & offers you 5 moments for relaxation and inspiration. 

It's from the meditation Close your eyes on page 60.

Thanks for sharing at the links below.

Take Care and thanks for your visit. 

Celebration of Life.

 

Remembering lives well lived.

Dona Anderson

After living here long enough to become a senior I was very glad to join one and then 2 senior centers that are full of activities and people who are enjoying this time of their lives by getting out to be with others, share stories, laughs, do activities like music, choir, cards, crafts and lots more. 

It often feels like family outside of home.

The sad part is when you learn someone can't attend anymore or have passed away.

In the last few years we've had several friends not connected to the centers pass so we knew about their lives and became part of their activities but at the center you may just know them from the activity you both attend and some days a hi or how are you may be all the time you get for conversation. 

But even that can bring a big shared smile on your faces each time you meet again.

"A Friendly greeting or acknowledgment can create a feeling of welcoming and belonging and let someone know you care"  

This last year has had even more sadness ... some years are harder than others.

I've learned a lot about their lives since from the paper, and I'm amazed at the stories. Many moved across continent's, countries and one lady moved 20+ times.

Many were quite active in volunteering, hobbies and supporting others. 

One lady at 89 was still driving and loved reading, being on the computer and doing activities  to support her self care. 

I noticed they didn't complain much even when they certainly could have.

I noticed they were always happy to get out, see others, and join in however they could.

And, they all seemed to be happy with what they could do more than talk about what they couldn't. 

The stories all seemed to show a busy full adventurist life that led them to this community to retire and for some to find the work they loved the best. 

Each had a life very well lived,

and we'll miss them all.

 PS.  Quote above is from the meditation Words to be savored and treasured on page 75, in my book Moving Forward from the Heart.

Todays quiet place to rest.

Bye for today & take care.

You never know how a small injury will affect your life.  I hurt my finger back in July and was told it would take months to heal - coming up to month 4 soon.  

Missing my activities and friends.

 

Father Ray Kelly Singing Priest

     One of  Simon's MOST FAVORITE Auditions

I can hear why.

Dona Anderson

Summer of Music 

Week 4

What a gracious and passionate man

going on towards His dream.

The song - Everybody Hurts 

His smile is warming and his soulful voice melted into this song.  

While this is a sad song it also encourages us to go on, go on.  

It has been a stressful last few years of much loss, difficulties, storms sickness, war and more around the world. 

Many have lost so much but still hear those words ...

Go On, Go On.

PS. Thanks for your visit this week. 

Life gives all of us many things along our path to work through, fix, change and more. 

As I listened I thought about things in my life and in the lives of others. 

Let's honor that strength and courage in ourselves that we admire in others. 

Our courage often comes from that quiet voice inside that says it will be OK ... I can do it ... or we can try again tomorrow. 

And, thank You to all those helpers along the way.

Take Care.

2022 Summer of Music continues through August. 

I Hope you continue to be one of our weekly visitors and over 700 past weekly posts in the Archives that you can view, save & share at your leisure.

Thank You for helping to send Wellness out in the World with your shares. 

Links below.

Bye for now.

The losses sure added up

We lost out on the Smiles and more ...

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."           ~Leo Buscaglia~

Dona Anderson

That quote sure fits in with our lives these last few years.

It has been difficult to add up all the little things that come to mind and weigh the losses we all shared.

We lost out on a lot of personal contact, activities, friends and family gatherings.

We lost out on the hello's, smiles, small talk and more.

We lost out on the coffee with a neighbor and those hugs, handshakes or a pat on the back.

At the start of wearing masks I was in a big store and felt uncomfortable, faint like so as I was the only one in that aisle I lowered my mask a little just to take a few deep breaths.

Then a young lady walked over to where I was shopping and angrily told me I was not wearing My mask correctly and I might as well not have one on.

I fixed it as intended and walked away wondering that at least I had one on and she didn't nor any sign of having one.

I don't know if the 2020 pandenic began with a lot of fear and anger or those emotions grew over time.  

Now from the recent shootings and the ongoing war on Ukraine our hearts remain full of much sadness.

Past generations also felt the horror, stress, hardship, and loss from illness, fighting, violence, disasters and war deeply too in their lives. I'm sure a lot of their worries and emotions were kept deep inside and over time seeped out on the the next generation.

In our world now we also have so much news coming towards us daily and we all can see the horror and loss before our eyes so we have to take special care of our own stress, worries and health. 

Hopefully over time we can work to restore those real feelings of safety  community, friendship and help the children get past it all to feel loved and safe again.

Let's open up the doors to

our life and let others in again.

Something Fun to end with.

If you use the letters in the word limes what will you get?

Answer in next weeks post.

Is Dad having a midlife crisis? -

Laughing with Mary

Is Dad having a midlife crisis? - 

As the kids after one parent passes it's a time we focus on the one left and try to help them with the changes and figuring out what they need to support themselves.

I'm sure a lot of parents now both support the family daily life, meals, shopping, laundry commutes etc. but years ago it was mainly only the wife/mother who was home every day to handle it all.

Thinking back, I don't have any memories of Dad helping with meals, dishes, shopping, laundry, or house work. If not he had a lot to catch up on when Mom got sick and later passing.

My 2 sisters and I lived far away with jobs and children, so I'm sure he had his moments and frustrations.

While I thought the question for the video was a great one, I also was reminded of when Dad started going to a seniors dance night and thinking negatively he never took Mom out.

While there he met a lady he knew from years before that was also widowed and later took her dancing and they went out to supper most nights.

Again, he never took Mom out to for supper.

While I understand his need for companionship I know Mom would have liked the attention of an occasional Date Night to have fun, or a break from cooking the meals every day.

How do we figure it all out?

New dating is important - but can't there be an old married couple time to go out and have Fun ?

A time to remember how and why you fell in love that has lasted through the years.

As time went on we really did appreciate that he had a friend to spend time with. talk to, watch TV with and look after each other.   

PS. I don't know how this happens but a cute video like this one sent me in a different direction. 

I guess that can happen more often then we think with our feelings and words coming from a deep place, a place that may not even be related to what's going on in front of us.

Going forward I think more planed date nights and having fun together while you can is important and helps everyone. 

We often spend a lot of time on work and the daily things and forget to plan those special times that make memories of times well spent.

We're never too old ... 

Take Care, & bye for now.

New posts on Tuesday and over 700 in the 

Archives to view, save & share at your leisure.

It's May already.  

The year is going by fast.

I guess putting our thoughts on paper helps to release and soften some of those inside questions and emotions.  

Sometimes, it just takes a few weeks.

Take Care.

Links for sharing below.                                                  

Dona Anderson

Loss & Rebuilding

 So much heartbreak.

Dona Anderson

Struggling new parents and then this. 

The Loss 

We had a fire that took the first home in our married life.

We were young, poor and bought an older home because the mortgage payments back then were less than paying rent to live in someone's basement.

We borrowed the money for the down payment from a relative, got some used furniture and set up house in March. 

On Good Friday the following year it was  gone.

In a post last month, I wrote about waking up Christmas morning and  our oil tank being empty and this happened 3 months later. 

We were out most of the day as family was in town for the Easter weekend and the oil furnace didn't shut off and started a fire.

We had our baby daughter and leaving home that day with just the diaper bag was all we had left. 

Suddenly our lives had a major change.

Sometimes life gives us a setback that offers a bigger struggle than before.

But the best gift was that we were ok.

Rebuilding

Thankfully we were able to spend some time at my parents before moving on and starting over again. 

In looking back I guess that's maybe the reason I had to go straight home everyday from work, or seeing that first glimpse of our home still there after a vacation was always a huge weight to let go of.

Often it takes years to find out & notice the little changes and things we do unconsciously after a crisis, illness or whatever it was.

but, How do you rebuild a neighborhood.

Luckily we had no loss of life and a home can change locations, or be rebuilt but how do you rebuild a neighborhood that is made up of many memories, families, friends, neighbors schools and more ...

Every time I see the fires, storms, or other disasters in the news I think about all the terrible loss, about being there, the survivors and what they will go through over the days & years ahead.

How do they start over ...

PS. I hope this wasn't a sad post today but I know a lot of us are stressed and feeling the stress of others.  

Let's help when we can by donating & supporting shops and other places that assist in providing free or low cost items that are needed especially in emergency situations. 

And don't forget the animals who lost their home too.

Last years winter pansies.
Love the face on the top one.

Please support the emergency responders who run towards helping and not away from ...

Thanks for you visit today. 

New posts every Tuesday.

You can share posts at the Links below.

Your shares Help us to spread Wellness around the World. Thank You.

Over 650 past posts in the Archives that you can view & share.

Bye for today.  

Let's get Back together again next Tuesday or any day in the Archives. 

Here's a post from last summer to help you relax and enjoy 9 beautiful places from around the world

Lucy & Kelsie on neighborhood watch.

Ancestry results - weren't what we thought

Loss Learning & Confusion  

in our Family Tree?

Dona Anderson.

This last year and a half was a time of great stress, loss and I wonder if others have been feeling the need to learn more about their family history too.

How much do we even know about those past generations and what will be taken forward for the future ones. 

In the past year I got my results from 2 ancestry places and it's great to see many pages of relatives but I wish I knew more of them.  

I guess it would feel better if more current relatives did the test so I'd see more names I knew.  

I have great and great great grandparents but I don't know anything about them other than now I have many pages of  2nd 3rd & 4th + cousins.

What was their story, what was their life about going back to Neanderthal times. 

I guess after so much loss due to covid and other things we want to connect more, to feel we made it here for a reason. It's our time to be seen.

Ancestry Surprises 

My sister got a test several years ago. No surprises and no one else linked to her at the time as a close relative. 

Then over the last few years as more people were added to the sight she had an unknown close connection show up. 

Loss

Contact was made that lead us to learn about an even closer relative, a half Sister who sadly had passed a few months earlier.

It was a very sad and confusing time of grieving someone we hadn't known about,  and lived not far away.

Thankfully her 2 daughters have been very kind and wonderful to tell us about her life and family with lots of information and pictures. It's something we can continue to share on both sides.

Learning

I sent in my sample for testing to a different ancestry at the beginning of this year and did connect to a name I knew of only because of the other information we received earlier.

My heritage showed up as 93.4 % British and Irish, but not really knowing what that meant.

So all was good - right?

Just for Fun I sent in a another sample to the same site my sister had done.

Then our lives kind of changed again.

Confusion

We grew up believing we were Irish. Dad said.

My first results said I was 93.4% British & Irish.

The 2nd test, said I'm 75% Scottish and only 16 % Irish. 

So ringy dingy off to call my sister. 

Why didn't you tell me we're Scottish? 

Do I have to trade in the shamrocks and green beer now for ...

No, I am not eating Haggis. 

I've visited Scotland  twice, love it and Ireland is still on my bucket list to go for me and My Dad.   

I've only kept 7 old record albums and these are 2 of them so thought I'd share their photo's.

The old days never imagined DNA and the stories and secrets that would show up.

I really don't care what I am. 

So now I'm Scottish and used to be a red head, but it's fun to complain a bit.

Do I have to let go of what was said to be my Irish Temper too?

PS. Keep loving those still in your life, and find out more about them sooner in case you don't have a later.

Take Care & Thanks for your visit today.

Your shares at the links below let us send everyday Wellness out into the World to help others. 

A friendly story or information can often help others and make them feel part of a community. 

New posts every Tuesday and over 600 in the archives that you can view, save & share.

Bye for today ☘☘☘

Shamrocks ? - Ok, still love Shamrocks. 

Which of these 3 Are YOU?

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean ...?

What ??

I'm sure we can all relate to this video looking back at this last year and a half. 

It's been a time where we experienced many different stresses, emotions, changes, loss, difficulties & more.  

Check out the video - do you see yourself as one or at times all three.

Some days we probably are all 3, the carrot, egg and the coffee bean.  

We've all been stressed & challenged. 

Did you find that you are stronger than you may have thought.

We learned many things and maybe the most important one is what you learned about yourself, your life & future. 

You may have learned about how change affects you, your patience and stress levels.

Or it may have been about your health, future goals, relationships, family connections, needs and more.

In more closeness and time together in families we learn more about ourselves and others. 

Some maybe good and not so good so we have to figure it out and give it time to adjust.

We have all been in this place together and it's time to slowly start to recover, soften that protective shield and get living our life again as things open up and safety guidelines are met.

PS.  Thank You for helping to keep yourself and others safe. 

 Let's all do our best with what comes next. 

Confession - I didn't have any coffee beans to use for the picture so they are really a few pills I had.

The carrots were from our garden and the eggs from the fridge.

Love the sun flowers

Dona Anderson

Some thoughts & words to help when they can.

Positive attitude, Smiles, Hugs, Gratitude, Exercise, Reduce Stress, Eat well, Forgiveness, Relax, Set boundaries, Laugh, Support yourself & others, Talk to Friends 

And when needed cook yourself a carrot, an egg and sit down and enjoy a Coffee! 

Take Care and when you're ready click on the video in this post from a few years back and ...

Dance.

Have a great day - bye for now.

Links for sharing with others below. 

New posts every Tuesday!

Where do those lost things really go ??

 They're so hard to find,

and finally you have to give up or did You?

Dona Anderson

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It's not the little things like putting something in the wrong cupboard or putting the salt & pepper in the fridge on your way by. (Have You done that too?)

These were all different and important.

My husbands wallet.  

You immediately panic and your jaw drops.

My ID, credit cards ...

Where is it?

We searched the house.

He went back to the stores, parking lots ... no where.

Then after 3 days of worry I found it.  A black leather wallet upright against the back of the black leather chair. 

Just had to be at the right angle to see it. 

One of the kitchen sink stoppers.  

Not a panic but wondering & scratching your head. 

Waiting for it to turn up. 

Looking at each other thinking where is it.

Looking all around the kitchen, in the laundry room, under the sink garbage, basement, everywhere.

About 6 months later it was found.  Somehow it got into the pail for the compost bin and when emptying the bin for new dirt for the garden it appeared.

The cover for the hand vacuum. 

Can't use it now, nothing to hold the stuff picked up.

Ok, just where would that go - it was even placed back into its holder not noticing it was missing that key part.

We ended up buying a new one and months later the part was found under the basement stairs hiding in the dark among the boxes of who knows what. 

No idea how it got or was left there.

It's interesting how these things happen and how the loss affects you in different ways from panic to head scratching to being annoyed and thinking Who Did It. 

That's my story for this week.  

I hope all is well and continue to Take Care.

New post next Tuesday and thanks for sharing with others.

Links below.

PS. One day Years ago at work I looked down at my hand and my engagement ring was missing the diamond. 

Instant Panic, Fear then the Tears.

I was searching everywhere I had been, every part of my desk, crawling around on the floor and asking all my co workers to keep their eyes open. 

Nothing ... I guessed the nightly cleaners would vacuum it up.

Later in the day I opened one of my drawers and there was something on top of the binders.  It turned out to be my diamond but was upside down so no sparkles just looked like some dirt or something. Relief! 

Thankfully, it went back into my ring and 

it's still there all these years later. 

Kelsie says Hi

We all have these stories, what are Yours.

Share in the comments.

How to Talk to Someone With Dementia

Dementia

We all dread the thought of us getting it.

How do we prepare to help others or ourselves.

Dona Anderson

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We also dread the thought of our spouse, a parent, friend or anyone getting it.

It's a worry in the back of our mind for years as we age.

I've heard that it can start to begin many years earlier.

This video is about communicating with Dementia and that is very important because it's hard to do as the family, visitors and caretakers.

In the video Diane Waugh gives us lots of things to do to help be part of their life now.

Very Interesting. 

And as always there are many techniques and different ways to do things so this is just one for information on that path. 

 

Most of us may know someone with or who had some degree of Dementia.

For me when I was young it was my grandmother, and as a senior I know 3 that are in care centers.

We also have a neighbor that continues to live at home and sometimes needs help getting home from his walk. 

I also find it harder now with so much to remember.

How to work the remote, get on the computer, the pass words for everything, then how do the new appliances work, the camera and on and on.

We don't get the written/printed service we used to for many things so all the frustrations tend to add up.

Then there's the frequent changes that may be better for some but frustrating to others and not work for them.

There was never so much to remember. 

In this video I liked how she found out how to communicate. 

I hope to learn more and adopt a few of her ways as it makes things a lot easier.

Take Care.

PS.  there're lots of resources available to help us.  

I think it's important to know the right questions to ask and the answers let us know we may be in the right place.

This has been a rough year.  It used to be that we knew someone with/had cancer, then came Alzheimer's and now it's covid. 

Please take care.

Mr. Bojangles - Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - [With Lyrics]

Do you have songs that make you cry?

The Ugly Cry.

I DO - this is often one of them.

Dona Anderson

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In my guitar groups music books there are 2 songs that make me cry.

This one and the other is Puff the Magic Dragon.

I love them both but ...

Some days the tears just start to come.

Then it's Quick - find a tissue as tears are running down my face and I need to blow my nose. 

I wonder who else has songs

 that do the same to them for
whatever reason ...

I used to be very sensitive,

much worse than now.  

I couldn't listen or watch some things because the ugly cry would swell my eyes up so bad I just had little slits to see out of the next morning.

Sometimes it was embarrassing especially when we were out at movies or concerts. 

The people beside me weren't always appreciative. 

And, I really felt bad when others told me their problem/story and would apologize that I was sad/tearing up.

Do us sensitive ones ever lose it or

is it just how we're suppose to be. 

Google can Help. 

There's questions & responses to help about

crying if you want to check that out.  

There are even Benefits listed.

I guess I need that cry every once in awhile

which was the second I added Tilly's photo in here.

My first photo message back in 2012 - Miss you beautiful  Scottie Girl.

 Her heart was very Kind & Happy.

Thanks for your visit.

New posts every Tuesday.

Together we're sharing Wellness around
the World - links for sharing below.

PS. I hope I'm not alone in this crying thing and Hopefully

 one day we can get back to those before Covid activities.

Colm Wilkinson - Bring Him Home (Les Misérables) [720p]

Just saying - May need a tissue

Great to have you here for one of my

favorite's from Les Misérables

Dona Anderson

I saw the Musical live on stage several years ago and
have always wanted to share this song. 

This years theme seemed 

just the right time & place.

Thank You to all the wonderful writers, performers
crew and everyone involved who work hard to bring the
audience these live stage productions.

and, Thank You for your visit.

Together we're spreading Wellness around the World.

Lots more to come as Summer of Music

continues through August.

Don't miss what's coming each week

Subscribe to Dona Anderson by Email

Links to comment and share below.

PS. More versions on You Tube for

you to pick your favorite.

I Hope you're enjoying this years music and songs from Theater, Movies, Stage productions and more to give us a wonderful combination of Moments in Time.  😊

Let us know in the comments.

Take Care.

Benjamin Manea’s ‘Beyond Sourdough’ lecture.

Celebrating the Giving & Thanks

together this time of Year.

Dona Anderson

Thanks to the gardens and gardeners
the crops and the farmers
the Bakers, markets and more ...

in this video I want to introduce you to a Baker.

I mean a real Baker - who learned the art and science of bread and more that feeds the soul.

Benjamin Manea  March 9, 1957 to June 15 2019.

New business owners, those not sure yet what to do, those you want to make a difference, just starting out or whatever your Dream is - you will find some words of inspiration.  

Even if you're not building a business or not looking for a reason to watch this, you may find something that lights a tiny spark in your Soul.

The video tells his story of becoming a baker and not just any baker as you'll hear and learn about.

You can watch the video on You Tube and click on the Show More for a link to more information and photos on Facebook. (warning they may make you Hungry)

We had the privilege to go to his bakery/cafe many times when we visited Penticton and fell in love with his food and Jewish rye bread. 

He had a list of special dishes for his lunch menu and my husband went for the pastrami sandwich that had little dishes of things to go with it, and borscht soup which were the best he ever had. 

Unfortunately he later learned he couldn't have both at one lunch.

I loved the quiche and the Greek salad.  Not only for the wonderful ingredients but also the artistry that was in every dish he served.

Best Part - there was NO take out - you sat, relaxed and waited until it was ready - your order made just for you and presented perfectly.  

Delicious food to soothe your Heart & Soul. 

Food made as it should be, &

  sprinkled 

  with Love 

Many Thanks to you Ben 💚

You reminded us about how the right ingredients
 still needs the right amount of time
to become perfect.


Links for sharing below.  
Take Care  &
Thanks for your visit. 


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Here's a link to an earlier post of Thanks.

I'd also like to add this one in here.  I'm sure it will remind you of a past memory of someone.